[2021-09-25] Time has become illusionary, I stay up at night while my wife sleeps. Baby is still on the 2 hour cycle of naps and feeding. Another doctor's appointment today and baby is 1 pound above birth weight, which is well on track and above where we needed to be. I am trying to write a horror inspired by my favorite styled genre of cosmic horror to take up my free time. Everything else has been moved aside until to begin work again. Even as I am writing this, my baby is in my lap and I am arching my arms over to type. Interesting skills I have gained in the few weeks of being a father. I also learned to not wear any shirt I worry about staining.
[2021-09-16] Got the rhythm of everything down, taking frequent naps, and being able to break up naps with baby enough to get other things done. Feeling good about everything. Baby passed all tests and doing well. Eating plenty and pooping just as much. Another doctor appointment soon. I need to clean the house and trim the yard soon. Looking rough and needing to maintain the outdoors. Hard to do with little time but all together but okay. Been watching a lot of movies to fill the time and I should start work again at the end of the month. Just in time for spooky month. I cannot wait to being out the decor and furnishings to celebrate my marriage and good years to come. Been writing and jotting in my journals a lot more in baby diaries, taking a lot of pictures, etc.
[2021-09-14] Got the first doctor appointment out of the way and everything is 10/10 so far. Sleep schedule are whacked out though. Taking 20 minutes power naps 30x day. Been binge watching series and killing time. Been reading a lot child care and catching up on horror fiction I have been meaning to read.
[2021-09-12] My child is born. We are home and relaxing while we can. Getting the house to a near sterile level and keeping dust out of the main bedroom. Got some visitors from the family, but no touching yet. We need to wait a little more than a week before holding can start. I think I can take off for another 2 weeks roughly which is going to be nice for bonding but also help with my spouse's recovery. I am keeping a collection of nursing journals and pictures for later. I hope to keep up with writing.
[2021-09-07] Another couple false alarms, been working outside most of the week. Getting some of the bushes trimmed up, taking care of cold dead lumber, and re-setting my gardens. Went out and bought a camera for everything a couple days ago. One of the Nikon Coolpix from 11 years ago. Picked it up for cheap at a pawnshop. Wife's grandmother is in town and it is stressing me out to no end. I think I am going to continue working outside until something happens. I cannot stand being cooped up anymore, just waiting.
[2021-08-31] Had a false alarm on the baby last night. So a 2200 trip to the ER turned into a 0000 discharge. Baby can be do any day now. Got a new pipe from Missouri Meerschaum that I have been needing replaced, my old Diplomat straight stem cracked, so I happened a chance in and they had several corn-cob pipes in stock. So I picked up 3 for safe keeping. Been cleaning the house like mad, I even had time to reorganize my liquor shelf. I think I might get the loft area cleaned out as well to get some stuff moved out of the main living area. Trying to spend more time writing as well, but is has been difficult to keep myself sat down long enough to do it.
[2021-08-27] Busy night, a lot of debate in the chatroom I frequent, some issues stemming here and there. Wife is having her mom stay with us for a couple days to help with things. Baby is soon to arrive. Trimmed some bushes today, made us dinner for the week. And prepared the house for us to leave for hospital. I am writing some more, and also keeping a journal to archive my journey through parenthood. I am sure I will write more about it on here in a different section. A Misadventures of a parenthood.
[2021-08-23] Another deep clean, with 2 days off I got a lot more done than expected, was able to finally mow the lawn and collect the grass, fixed a couple doors giving me trouble, and set up the home-theater. Light is a problem though, may have to buy some blackout screens just to be sure. I have been trying to balance everything with home projects and getting far enough ahead in work to make sure I can manage everything without much hassle, but that leaves very little time to work on the computer. I am going to have to start carrying a notebook again to write things down, since I cannot rely on being behind a terminal.
[2021-08-19] I have been experimenting with some window managers. I took a break from seriously considering them after my EXWM usage. I need to start charting or writing down my writing ideas so I can work on them in short chunks. Feeling good now with the rain coming down as much as it is here, keeps the weather cool and I don't mind the overcast sky. Keeps me on a good schedule since I sleep through most of the day. It also gets me in a good mood for writing. I have some short stories, connected passages, and other odd-end stuff I would like to put up soon. Also I forgot that with Debian moving to 11 and there being no 12 yet on the testing branch. I need to update my repository before that happens so I can make sure nothing gets left behind. But I also wanted to split some packages into -Current- and -Stable- Just so I can set myself up for success.
[2021-08-18] Finally got the money back from a gun I sold some time ago on loan. A little over $400, so I went to the pipe shop local to me, sat down, had a quick drink and picked myself up a nice non Missouri Meerschaum pipe. The look and feel are different but good. But I will have to get use to cleaning it more often, since cob pipes don't tend to grime up as bad. The money is also going to help a lot with more projects I am working on in the home, so with a bit more liquid assets I should be able to get those done a bit faster now. I am also pretty excited that my store still has 'The Old Ones' collection from Cornell & Diehl. I have 3 of the tins, and want to collect the set. I may have to order the rest online, the the store did say they still can keep single tins in stock for direct orders.
[2021-08-16] Finally reached a point where I could sit down and update things. Baby-shower went off well. Though I remember why I dislike having guests over to stay for multiple days at a time, I do not like them taking up my personal space, or hear them talking. Guess its more of a personal misanthropy on my own time kind of thing. Baby is due any day now and my family are making a show of it. I think at this moment I am ready to get the whole thing going and over so I can adjust. But I feel like I am so busy trying to keep up that when she does go into labor, we won't even be prepared. I know its not the case, but that is how I fear things will go. I have been spending more time writing fiction stories which are a nice distraction, and work is cutting me some slack. The weather this week is going to be overcast and rainy, leading into the fall, which here means hot days and cold nights.
[2021-08-09] Feeling sluggish today, though I did work out and Monday mornings are always slow. Not much to do besides listening to audio-books and cramming out odd and end work from the previous week. Wife has a guest staying with us for the baby shower on the 11th, and baby shower is on the 13th. I need to make him a bed, but I am not sure if he will be sleeping here or in a hotel. Most likely on the couch. I need to start reading more, I use to read a book a month, but that has dropped from 1 every 3 months. So I will start again with classics and work my way back to more new series and books. I also need to comb through some hoarded boxes in the garage, to clear those out and make a Mom-Pop suite there, which will be handy for when the baby comes and we want to have family over for extended visits. Adding to my to-do list one odd week at a time I guess.
[2021-08-06] Been a slow day, I have been working hard to get ahead on schedules and paperwork so I can take time off for FMLA. I have been trying to call our main branch with little success, I keep getting voicemail with no return call. I really need to deep clean the house and schedule a time to hang out with friends. I will have to do it Saturday night to make sure I have time the next day to clean before family gets here in the following week. Had to fix the garbage disposal today which took about 30 minutes. Not too bad considering I was gonna have to take it apart. I have been thinking about writing more short stories again to pass time, but I am not too sure. Since the week has started, I began living in GNOME again today to play with some Sid repo stuff. I mostly wanted to try to get my main system to a point where I felt comfortable with some new packages that will be introduced in the next couple years. So I am running stable again on the T420 with a Testing and Sid box on the side to play with while I am prepping the house. Read through some nice emails recently, those always cheer me up knowing people like using the site as a resource. Though I mostly just fill it with journal stuff and random lists I don't want to save anywhere else. Turns out my need to order things works out for more than just me. Even though I have been a bit swamped with everything, I have been feeling really good lately, a lot of energy. Though I think its mostly just the weather.
[2021-08-03] With Debian Testing now frozen and the release date for Debian 11 being announced, I decided to set up a VM and test the new stable. I did a fresh install of all listed DE's to test the waters from XFCE. I am still not a fan of KDE or LXQt. LXDE is the same as ever, frozen in time, even with Debian being behind of -current-, LXDE will always look and feel a bit older than even some of it's parent DE/WMs. I have been using XFCE for some time and it gets better every release in my opinion. Though I don't have the issues with GTK3 that most do. Cinnamon and Mate feel good, classic though a bit heavy for what its giving you. I do like the option for GNOME or GNOME-Flashback. Flashback does tend to run lighter, but only by about 200~MB which given GNOME's resource usage, is not seeing a drastic difference between over half a gig or over half a gig +100MBs. Though I have to say, my love/hate relationship with GNOME is still hitting hard as I keep coming back for testing, or checking things out. It still hits a lot of sweet spots for me, and with a machine like mine, the resource usage is not a deal breaker, only killing about 20 minutes on battery life and still leaving me without about 6 hours strong with brightness up.
[2021-07-31] Got paid and went shopping. Finally slept a solid amount before work. I had an unexpected visitor who needed some help moving things, which is fine since I have a truck. I wanted to get more done today than just some shopping and house cleaning, but moving took up a couple hours of my time, and when I was done, I could not motivate myself further for anymore outdoor activities. Gave myself a haircut and did some bathroom cleaning. All together a pretty good day. Doing some walking tonight really helped wake me up and get me going. We are 35 days from the due date according to the OB. I have been putting together a memories box for all the baby stuff we want to save, like journals and hospital forms. I have been investing some time into Slackware recently, I am really enjoying the experience. While I still have a lot of reference to Debian in terms of base knowledge, I like Slackware's core function and feel.
[2021-07-29] I have been so tired recently. Almost too tired. I think its a mixture of stress and having my wife in the room when I am trying to sleep. I have been sleeping at work more, which is a pleasure I am given since I work anywhere from 2000-0800 most days. Usually I just play an audio-book and step into my restroom to kill about an hour. Then I get back up to complete paperwork. Not a bad gig for hourly pay. Still working 5-6 days a week though, which is a pain sometimes. I am grasping random things that interest me and putting them down on paper, which is still a positive.
[2021-07-27] Combing through and messing with some page alterations again. I woke from a nightmare about how something is not right and I cannot put my finger on it. Usually that creeping anxiety causes me to be in a cleaning mood and an urge to purge rubbish and nonsense from my writing, home, workplace, etc. To satisfy that need to solve a problem that does not exist.
[2021-07-23] Spent most of the day yesterday sleeping and watching movies. I did not feel too great about it, but my wife was wanting to hang out for a bit and who am I to say no to that? I will finish some pet projects this weekend. My father called in the morning asking about everything, while nothing has really changed. I let him know the goings on and he said he has the money I loaned him back with interest on top. I am thankful for it, $600 some off dollars is no joke for someone asking on a whim. I told him to hang on to it just in case, and he can give it to me in cash when I see him again in August. Sometimes I feel like out of the family, I am the only one to ever have everything figured out. Maybe I am just being an asshole about it, who knows? I have always been good with money, and I have been a loan shark about it most of my life. Friends, family, partners. I have loaned money to all of them. Even paying a bail more than I would like. Reasonable but I think I am going to have to stop soon, baby on the way, I cannot be a fence for people anymore, this reminds of when I was in college, setting funds out for some small town dealers in the area, helping them set up events and swaps, and after a long weekend of hustling, sitting down to count the books. I am pretty sure now that most of those guys are dead or in jail. I know of 3 that ran off to Nashville or similar and ended up getting busted or OD.
[2021-07-21] So I have been spending most mornings, when I get off work at 0800, making a home server. Something on my local network to save movies, pictures, and back up files. While I always had one before. I want to get something set up that is more user friendly for my wife, so she can upload all out soon to be baby photos. I have always been highly objective to her not backing up pictures or just saving them on a cloud or on her phone. While she still can do those things. I would be more comfortable if we had out own personal storage to save everything on, and something she can use. I was even thinking of converting some old TV's into a 'smart display' kinda thing, to play albums on shuffle of something.
[2021-07-20] I slept well today. Got some work done in the home and am trying to de-clutter again. Overall is going well. I need to clean out spare spaces to make way for future baby stuff. I am going to have to move everything for now to the garage. So picking up some boxes are in order. Truck also needs cleaning to add room for a baby-seat. So much to do, so little time.
[2021-07-19] Worked outside on my day off and ran about a solid 20 hours without sleep since my work schedule is still gonna be a pain. I am trying to manage my home and work life the best I can with a pregnant wife and work up the butt. She can only manage about 3 hours of being on her feet right now, we are about 50 days from the due date so she is freaking a little. I am trying to get all my outside activities done while I still can. So I might have to do the 'Pay to Win' strategy and start buying excess material that I may not need to speed up the process instead of building from found and resupply material. Its going to suck, but I am on a deadline. Also pregnancy photos are coming soon and I am in need to a professional cut instead of a home cut.
[2021-07-16] Trying to nail out a proper guns buying guide along with a reference to living off grid. Two topics I have been talking more about recently. I had to stop at a Gas-station to pick up cream since I forgot to add some to my coffee before leaving to work. I don't mind drinking black, but drinking a pot of coffee, I like to have a range of flavor. I have been finding myself increasingly bored of news recently. No on the political sphere, but tech news, interesting software, privacy rights, etc. All everyone wants to reference or talk about is "Smartphone security" and "Discord Privacy". I think the whole concept of good privacy and security is going to die with the Zoomers, I am sure. The whole idea that its too hard to live without a smartphone, comes up enough, for me to completely forsake the effort for them.
[2021-07-14] So I got put on call for the next couple weeks, so I can see myself working the next 14 days in a row. Whether is be 12 hour days or my typical 8. Paycheck is gonna be nice, but no time to spend it. I think I pulled a muscle in my back while lifting a table during one of my cleaning sprees. I think I might play an audio-book in my office, go into the restroom, and take a nap. Someone left an Arizona Green Tea in the fridge, which I don't want to say is the highlight of my work day... but it certainly is. I guess I am going to wrap up some paperwork and try to kill some time.
[2021-07-13] Got the Thinkpad repaired and up to snuff. Cooling is better and everything is running smoothly. Got my install corrected to this laptop and all keys restored and re-backed up. I forgot why I ever decided to not use the T420. The weight difference is minimal and I don't feel the difference between this laptop with a 9-cell over the X240. Did some cleaning and migrated from a 32gb USB to a external SSD. While I liked the USB, I think it was time for a change to something with a bit more internal space, I also reformatted my drives to get a fresh start on re-archiving a lot of the data. My collected was expanding well beyond 2TB. So I wanted to cut through it a little at a time to thin out some of the older, no longer needed data. Things like an old Debian ISO from 2009 for example. I ordered some new crochet hooks. I want to start making plarn bed-mats to give to some homeless folk near my area. But also to use some for camping trips and truck-bed liner. I have been re-reading Neuromancer, and it got me hooked on the idea of making a cyberdeck for my workspace and a fun side project. But before than I need to dig that pond out.
[2021-07-10] Turns out as I was shopping for new parts and what not for the thinkpad. I was began price checking all the listed laptops on ebay. And for the cost of all the replacement parts, its roughly about the cost of another t420 anyway. So I canceled the order and just put in a order for another t420. This should give me all the parts needed plus additional material like screws and screens. Now I just need to figure out what to do with the rest of the laptops I have. Began jogging again and have my times down pretty well. I can do my 2 mile in about 15 minutes, which I feel pretty good about.
[2021-07-08] All together ordered a new keyboard and accessories for the T420, they should all be here by Monday. Took the chance to reformat a drive and move from XFCE to GNOME. I am going to have to reapply thermal paste and dust everything good. I will do all that in the upcoming week when the keyboard comes in. Lazy day overall. I got a good bearing on paperwork at the office and am able to knock it all out in about an hour now. Leaving a remaining 5 hours to write and read to my leisure. Battery is holding up really well, though I cannot remember what kind of uptime I was able to get on it before. I am clocking about 6-8 hours of battery life under an average workload. I dug through some old storage and discovered all the electronics I thought I gave away still sitting and collecting dust. So I am going to revive some of them to make a baby monitor and security system for the house. I also need to dig out the pond we are putting in the back and make sure its covered correctly for baby-proofing, if need be. I would really like to have some fish.
[2021-07-07] So my x240 decided to finally kick the bucket, so now I am having to find a replacement keyboard for my T420 so I can move back to it and type comfortably. Picked up some baby stuff too, while I have the extra money to do so. All together its been a pretty awesome week. Had the holiday off so I had a 3 day weekend. Went to a buddies house and shot off fireworks. Their neighbor's kid wanted to light some off too, but did not light it correctly. Next thing we knew, we have 6 or 7 fireworks flying at our faces. Good ole' 4th of July if I ever had one.
[2021-07-02] Did some more edits. I think one of my worst (best) practices is I am constantly overthinking on the random goings on of my day. Re-implementation, improvements, tweaks, all to make my life easier, better, more robust. But that causes a lot of confusion in regards to previous practices and methods. Though it does prevent me from ever being bored.
[2021-07-01] I am disabling JS on my site moving forward. I have been watching more 'So bad they are good' horror films. Began talking to the baby more while in womb. I was always wondering why we debate "The best" smartphone messenger. Or whats "The Most Private / Secure" smartphone gizmo. No, there is no point. Smartphones cannot be secure, cannot be private, cannot be implemented in any meaningful way in the privacy setting. Asking that while maintaining the position that is the will be used on a smartphone is completely moot. Its insanity.
[2021-06-29] Added another article to CGFTPU section. Added several new PDFs. Killed a pot of coffee in the last 24 hours. Watched 3 Bad-Good horror movies.
[2021-06-28] Added some messages to html, did a deep clean of the house. And riding out the week until I can finally get a 2 day weekend. Probably gonna take it easy this week and give myself a mini vacation.
[2021-06-25] Talked to my spouse about the finer details in regards to money, where it comes from, where it goes, and how everything works over a 30 day period. She got a little overwhelmed about it all. I was telling her how much money we have today and how much money we will have in 3 years, as well as some details about our baby's accounts and funds. Over all I think it was good for her to find out and so we can talk more openly about money overall. Its something I try to avoid when it comes to our overall relationship and happiness, I usually think money is a burden for only me to deal with, but I think she is happy to be involved more. I recently got news I am moving from a 56 hour / 5 day work week and 48 hour / 6 day work week, to a much more manageable 40 hour / 5 day work week again. I am stoked for the extra free time again. Hopefully we can keep the new people long enough for me to enjoy it. I really cannot wait for the weekend, I need to catch up on a lot of yard work and odd/end chores. I also cannot wait to be able to chill and drink a little while playing some DnD. I also have been thinking about further expanding out the Paranoid User stuff. But I don't know about just yet.
[2021-06-24] Started adding some flare to the index. Also made my own 88x31 button. While simple, I like it. Though it does blend right into the background with .css on, but I am not worried about it for right now. I can always go back and change it. I have been reading about McAfee and all the conspiracy around that. I really hope his "Dead man switch" is not one big troll and some crazy shit really does go down. I have been archiving like crazy in the hopes something does happen. Been adding back to my prep stuff recently and stashing away some money each month. So things are looking up in preparation of having a baby and I should (if the math holds) to have him set up for his 18th. I also realized I am a moron who cannot remember what I have written before. So I have to go back and re-do some stuffs ("/" is not a "-"). I have also been thinking about all the things I need to do or want to do. Its so odd that when you are having a baby, it really kicks you into gear about projects and stuff. I want to plant another 15 trees in my backyard to create a natural perimeter, which I think would look great and be awesome to next summer to grant to full outer shade coverage while allowing the central part of my yard to be sunshine. Something to think about, lumber is worth more than gold at the moment.
[2021-06-23] Made the site 100% xhtml compliant I think now and corrected a lot of my negative writing habits. Finally rid myself of some skunks that have been near my door every evening. And catching up on some organizational projects. Got back around to exercising more and I am almost back up to my regular count. Feeling pretty good overall, but work is still a constant burden right now, hopefully we correct that soon.
[2021-06-18] I feel like I live here. Time is an illusion and the week blurs into one continual day.
[2021-06-17] Working massive amounts of overtime again. So to keep myself busy I have been playing with new installs and software. Trying to re-shock my workflow after living in XFCE for a while. Killing time playing chess online and reading more on DnD stuff for later builds. I am just tired.
[2021-06-14] Spent the weekend working or playing DnD, which brings me back to childhood of going to school and coming home to read about builds or lore from the new expansions. My current build is a Human Warlock with the Fey route. This has been a old fave of mine for sometime, being able to have high CHA for "The Face" roles or I can play sideline and be the "Master Blaster" for combat incase someone else wants to do all the talking. Warlocks while popular in the lore and from players, I think are also highly underutilized from a role-playing perspective. Dude sold his soul (in theory) so clearly this guy is willing to go pretty far for his goals, how far? Well that is up to you.
[2021-06-11] Today I was faced with the absurd, and his name is Frank. At work their was an accident, no one was hurt, there was no real damage, and there was no one to direct blame to. BUT there was an accident that involved the safety of the property and interest of safety of the workers. So I, being a safety worker, had to file a report. Get all the legal boxes checked, get all the names and dates, times and places. Everything written, detailed, and timestamped. And then I had to interact with the reporter, the guy who takes my report and reports on the report (imagine that being a job eh?) You can imagine someone who may work that job being a man who is detailed, organized, perhaps rigid even. No. The man who worked that job was absurd. Frank is the reporter, the man I give my report to and details in. Frank, with my report in hand, begins with the usual, a sequence of parroting questions and answers in my report to ensure what I had taken down was accurate. Understandable. Reasonable even, nothing out of the ordinary. Then it happened, my descent into odd. He began to ask "Who did this happen to? And can you spell it?"... Well its spelled in my report, all names taken here. I don't know their names off hand nor the spelling, I have their IDs scanned though, you can see them here as a list.... "And these people are hurt?"... No in my report no one was hurt, just some damage, they are witnesses to the event. The event listed and statements are given with their names are here on this page... "And these people caused the damage?"... (At this point I genuinely thought perhaps I was wrong, maybe I filed a wrong report.) No, did I do my paperwork wrong? Maybe the wrong type of details were given? "No, no, what happened?"... (This was the third time of me explaining the issue, and I am beginning to worry Frank is having a stroke) Damage to the equipment, no one was at fault and the damage is cosmetic minor some off end part which we have hundreds of. "So who is at fault? Did these people hurt anyone?"... (My confusion now accelerates into denial) Are you messing with me? I don't understand? Do you understand and can explain to me what you are needing? "No no, um, I just need the information"... he information here? On the page? Do you not need MY report but a report FROM ME? "Oh uh no um what else do I need?"... Are you new? Do you need my help? "No I have been here 9 years. What else do I need though?"... Just my report, so you can file it... Are you feeling well? Are you tired? "No, your supervisor will hear about this on Monday." ( And then Frank left). I standing in awe at a man working as a reporter for 9 years, walking a way with such confidence as a man almost a decade into his career knowing all there is to know about reporting, I can assume, can walk away like. And I began to wonder why I never thought about being a reporter.
[2021-06-09] My baby is kicking more so now that we are only 110 days left. It instilled something in me, something primal, inspiration and drive. I began to write again.
[2021-06-08] I realized that after ignoring some fundamental skills in GNU/Linux I have forgot much I have learned previously. I am going to have to retrain myself again and get back into rhythm in the ecosystem. Got some nice emails recently which really lifted my spirits. Wife is going to get glucose levels checked since we are entering the 3rd trimester. Did a serious amount of house cleaning these past few days, boxing up old stuff and taking to be donated, it is really surprising how much someone can end up hoarding over a year. Since I have been cleaning out the old collectibles closet I wanted to reprice out some of my MTG cards and try to sell the bulk. I have been keeping an eye on crypto the past couple weeks to see how the prices have shifted, I think I am personally safer investing my money elsewhere for now.
[2021-06-03] I have been extremely lethargic recently. I think it has something to do with missing some of the old hobbies I had when I was younger. I miss playing DnD with my old drinking buddies. I also feel like most of my writing ideas have not come from pen to paper. I think I may just go back though, try to clean this mess up again, do a reinstall of my OS. I find it easier when I have writer's block or similar issues, to go back through old work or do some tidying up. But that also could be a mental illness. Do I need a .css? I feel like it would be nicer all around if I didn't. May be something to think about.
[2021-05-27] Shutdowns have been happening a lot more at work so I have had a lot of free time to catch up on projects. 4 day weekend coming up, I think I am going to spend most of it camping again. I do need to keep working on the fence line. It has been an ongoing project for a while now. Every time I get finished with one part I get too busy to finish up the rest. But the same can be said for a lot of my outdoor projects. I need to dig a ice house too. All the while doing a tear down of the house to clean up and remodel. Big year.
[2021-05-20] Did a large run through all site content again. Did some updates and hyperlinks here and there. I added some bookmarks to the LINKS page to clean those out and provide some additional reading. Baby is due 2021-09-05 so I will be scarce, I will be sure to come back once a month to update and write about my adventures.
[2021-04-07] Thinking about a few new sections and additions. Mostly more manuals for the PDF section and maybe some guides on improvised weapons.
[2021-03-31] Gender reveal went off well, I am having a boy. So now the planning continues. House having additions and rebuilding a fence around the land. Having to rewrite some articles here to make readability easier. Also having to budget more so to ensure a good sum can be left to my child upon my death. So busy months are ahead. I am also adding to my stockpile of guns and ammo. Increasing storage space for dry food and baby needs in my current prepping supplies.
[2021-02-28] End of the month if finally here and I feel a huge wave of relief, my partner went to the doctor a couple days ago and we should be getting the blood work back soon. The blood work will give us gender and over all health. 13 Weeks as of today. I feel like I should be doing more in regards to my writing and other hobby-work projects, but I cannot seem to find the interest in it. Maybe just too much going on at home for me to be interested.
[2021-02-27] I am pulling all my crypto funds out today. The market to starting to look rocky and I have been holding them in there since 2018 so I think it is due time I put the money earned to good use. Taxes are coming in soon 03-03 and I need to start reinvesting in some projects I left behind during the pandemic. It is going to sound inappropriate, but I am going to miss the pandemic. It was a good opportunity to allow people to reset and prioritize.
[2021-02-22] I have not been able to have much free time this past week due to the snow storm that hit the country the last week. Rain on Sunday made ice that night, which made it impossible for people to get to work. Which leaves me to do the work for them. Monday and Tuesday were met with 6 inches of snow then another. After making sure my family was okay with being snowed in for the week, I spent much of my time working or sleeping. I am going to feel better when the paycheck comes in with my hazard and overtime pay.
[2021-01-16] I found out some time last week that my partner and I are having a baby. I also found out last week my grandmother died. So it has been one busy week. I am making attempts to relearn LISP in a more reasonable way, and re-reading "The Wizard Book" SICP. In the future I will be reading and uploading to share the "Crayola Books". I have mentioned earlier that uploading will be slow going, mostly due to lack of projects and lack of time. If any readers would like a certain topic covered, just shoot me an e-mail and I will be happy to research all I can about it. In other news, many social media platforms have been falling out of favor to the general public, majority have been leaning to the "right" in certain aspects, however this is not be a turn off to those of the "left". Social media and the social stream is a plague on the mind. It causes unneeded stress, added social pressures, and worst of all, a feeling of need or desire to vocalize your opinions onto the unsuspecting public. I would take the time now if you have not already, remove yourself from social media platforms. If you need to use them, find reasonable (ethical) federated alternatives, sign up for a (ethical) email or self-host. Downgrade to a flip-phone and enroll in a pre-paid like service. Limit your "Screen time", relax, drink some tea, maybe lift some weights? Take a deep breath. You know those old coffee containers you have been leaving next to the trash? Convert them into small decorative pots for some house plants. Remember they don't need a lot of sunshine, but some is nice, and you can use some too.
[2021-01-11] Plenty of news recently. Updates are going to be slow rolling for some time. New lives coming in to this world, old lives being taken out.
[2021-01-02] Every year I always try to pick a theme for the year and for the past 8 years that has been going very well. I may expand on this idea further in the future. But the idea goes something like this. A singular goal is hard to maintain and can cause unneeded stress. If your goal is to quit smoking, it is very singular and narrow. It is a good goal but if your entire year is headed to quit smoking, you can become discouraged or forget all together. However if your theme is "A Year of Health" it can be to quit smoking, exercise, mental health, and so on. A theme gives you other things to enjoy and gives you easier to obtain ideas. In the past several years I have gone through themes like "Wilderness" - where I take time to camp and to more off grid activities. "Health" - as mentioned. "Relationships" - where I worked in maintaining and grooming my social relationships with loved ones. "Writing" - this was the year I decided to make this website. And for this year "Cleansing" - my goal for this theme is to clean up my environment, clear my mental space, and work on organizing my living. 2020 has been a cluster of paperwork, jobs, and planning that I did not want to keep up with or drained my previously made preparations/savings so I figured I would need at least another year to rebuild that foundation.
[2020-12-26] I have to say with all honesty that I loathe the holiday season. Not so much in a way where the typical seasonal depression and stresses of familial gatherings begin to wear down the thin emotional shells we build up through the year. With 2020 almost behind us we have already hit our emotional breaking points multitudes over, and this time of year is the final cruel cherry on top of this horrid monstrous cake. I have noticed not recently a topic I left largely untouched but today I finally remembered, this time of year social media usage goes up, with quarantines and lock downs, the post 2016 political spectrum also radicalized social media, suicide rates are hitting record highs. We are reaching the final hurrahs of another great Fall of Rome styled failure. I welcome 2021, I welcome and praise those who remove digital addiction from their lives. I praise people who plant that garden, start that new year with a renewed sense or purpose. And I plead for mankind to tear their eyes away from the news, away from the feed, and away of the asking "why?".
[2020-12-23] Happy Holidays. Making attempts to add more content, I feel expanding the bin of reading materials would be nice so I am working on adding more to my personal collection of pdf. Eventually I will have to add more space though so I will most likely take up the offer of dropping bitcoin on the site. I may also add a bit more in terms of a personal touch.
[2020-11-23] Adding large QOL improvements to the formatting of the html and editing to some articles and posts. Making some attempts to curate down the amount.
[2020-09-29] It has been a while since I have updated last and have not been writing as much as I should have been, covid has made my work load double in the recent months. I feel like I am slowly withering away and my brain is being blended to mush. I will be revising my articles again soon to give it more up to date information soon.
[2020-05-20] I am writing a book I will be uploading here for free. It is going to be a revised edition to many of the Red Team Attack textbooks and the like. I have been working on things similar to the work I have already published but I feel this will be a good opportunity to refine and adapt my previous writing to a more workable and easily distributed collection.
[2020-05-04] I am now thinking about rewriting some of the older articles now do revitalize them. Some of the older ones like How To Disappear and the like. With my job now beginning to be more stressful than I desire its slowly starting to get under my skin. But all in all beggars cannot be choosers. Had an all-nighter followed by a 0500 meeting which sucked hard. Have been putting serious thought into working some other jobs while my current cools off with the Covid-19, in the down time I will be returning back to writing and maintaining the writings here.
[2020-04-24] Going through several articles today for quality of life updates. I still need to refine them down a bit more and make the articles less repetitive. Took a break from work due to Covid-19 and the work being not in my preferred working areas, it is a bit cloudy today so I took a breather and relaxed outside for a few hours. During that time I was thinking about moving away from BSD as I have found while the learning about the system fun, I also found for many cases the process tedious and a bit time consuming so I may move back to Debian just for the sake of simplicity and ease. Though I would like to say exploring alternative operating systems is meant to be fun but a personal journey, don't get too sucked in to the politics. Sometimes what is best for you is not best for everyone.
[2020-04-22] Tried and testing more Unix like systems. After having a bit of a debate about the spirit of Unix and Systemd, my stance on which I have written about, I have come to terms that in order to give most Unix like systems a completely fair and unbiased look. I have I decided to live in several in the upcoming months. I tested Slackware 14.2 Stable and had some issue and bugs such at networking issues and screen resolution issues that are actually common issues in the Slackware community. I wanted to give it a fair try and thought maybe the install was not great or I did something to break the install. So I went about re-installing and again the same issues occurred. Now this is not an attack on the Slackware system or the community, the issues I faced were all addressable and reasonable to fix, but they would have to be fixed on every install, which to me is not in my interest to do so. So I began researching the Unix philosophy more so and found the only reasonable way to give Unix a try is to not use a Unix-like system but a actual Unix system, so I went to Open-BSD. The install was easy, Open-BSD is stable, and no experience bugs in the last day or so. I will be living in Open-BSD for some time until I find it unusable or it no longer meets my personal computing needs. Also I would like to make a quick jab at the Linux Kernel, since Systemd gets a lot of flack for being bloated and having feature creep, how is it the Open-BSD kernel can have 2.9 million Lines of Code while the Linux Kernel 33 million Lines of Code. Systemd current at the time of this writing has 1273896 Lines of Code. I may have to come back to this issue at a later time.
[2020-03-27] Got relocated for my last shift. So I am unsure how to maintain a good internet connection. I was thinking tonight about the original Cypherpunk movement and its later generational spin-offs from the 90s and 2000s. I began to miss the idea of the guerrilla sequencing. The people were so ready to distrust the government, the banks, every system of power were under suspect. An then, as fast as it came, we forgot. It was a fleeting idea like smoke in wind. Maybe after this whole crisis is over and we collect ourselves, we will address the systematic issue that face our dying system that is American Capitalism.
[2020-03-24] After going over some finance I am beginning to believe that the future is bright for the generation to follow ours. After everything is said and done, when the crisis has hit its peak and begins to fade, the children after us will live in a time of wealth and sustainable goods. With pollution at an all time low and those who once profited from the blight and cancer that is globalization falling. We may see a time where green energy, local owned and sustained goods will become more prevalent. Social distancing is on the public minds and has become a buzzword in the culture, I am sure we will teach our children what was it and how it was to live this way. They are calling it "This generations 9/11" and I can certainly see the similarities. The fear and hardship, the unknown, the economic collapse and failure of The American Way. Though we will survive this certainly, I do not see this leaving the memory any time soon. People are making a panic, the politicians are making a panic, the world though always chaotic is becoming more unraveled and this is only a good thing. This is a good thing because in due time we will have the benefit and clarity of hindsight. We will say things like "This could have been stopped easily with XYZ" or "This is how we can make things safer with XYZ" our children will reap the gains of our losses. The market adjusts, the social stigmas get dropped, and people see the progress by the tracks we leave behind.
[2020-03-19] I was reading the news about the virus and the movements it has had on the world. I have also found that there are a few who choose to believe this is some kind of engineered plague to control the populous. This in my opinion is silly. The evidence does not back this claim up and is upsetting to see the anecdotal evidence that is presented. My largest argument that I tend to bring up when a claim such as this is brought up, is "Why?" and in this case the "Why? Because of control" does not make sense. For example is the EU and USA we have been overly back and forth on what 'We' as a nation should do. If I was in a position to maintain control, to be in control, and had a way to do so. I would be vamping up fear, which in most outlets most of the fear is derived from social media and the public. Is Covid-19 serious, yes. But is it a plague, no. If a group or government or bad actor with the power and resources engineered this to maintain control, they are doing a poor job, I am still working, the military has not been called, there are not riots or distrust of the 'Other'. People are concerned as they should be and my largest fear is not what Big Brother or what not is doing, It is what they are not doing. They are not making quick, decisive, effective movements like those who would want lockdown would do. They are not overtly fear mongering the 'Other' making us distrust potential inferiors or defectors like a regime would. They have not taken away tools of resistance or revolt like guns. If they engineered a plague or used the infection to gain some control, they need to workshop this plan a bit more and take some hints from RTS Games and Simulators to maintain order. If I can drive home and see people jogging in the morning, and people out of work, the economy tanking, and people concerned not by there neighbors but by the government. This is not a good control method. To maintain power you have to engineer problems like Economic downturn and Government distrust outside the social norms (Which always happens in times of crisis) and be a divisive solution to those problems, which the world leaders have not done. This claim is doubtful if not down right absurd. I will be making a more detailed response in the upcoming days.
[2020-03-17] Due to the recent pandemic and being where I am, I went off grid for a few days to prep my BUG-Out site. Spent about 3 days out and had time to myself. Due to the focus being more on resources and protection I have not spent much time writing. I did however get news that trucking shipments will be suspended which gives most places about 2 weeks of supply, whether it be Food or Gas, most places will be closed in about 2 weeks. They are also in the talks about closing roads only for emergency personnel and high demand occupations like doctors or nurses, military, etc. So I will be at home for some time and then moving off grid when the wind turns. I will be maintaining my journal for that time however. Where I live is very rural. I may not be able to be online without satellite, but for those in the States and are potentially facing civil unrest. Prepare now, have a place to stay, and have 2 weeks of food. Be safe.
[2020-03-10] Added ProjectMelody.txt and my comments on the waifu wars of chaturbate. I found this topic both fun to research but infuriating to read the comments on. If you feel threatened by a VR Model perhaps you need to focus up on your personality since that's all Melody is, a rendered model on a personality.
[2020-03-05] Added a PDF html section to free up some space on the primary index. I am going to make an attempt to keep the txt files on the index page to allow an easier reading experience without having to dive too deep into rabbit holes.
[2020-03-03] Added some more pdfs to the roster, added a social engineering section. I should do more writing on the subject that may come up soon. Also got to see my site added to a lainchan sec thread which makes me get the warm and fuzzies. Good weekend.
[2020-02-22] Feeling generally lethargic recently. I want to focus on my writing but am finding it difficult to keep up with. I currently have about 6 unfinished projects and 4 unfinished books I need to read. I want to be more social but find the whole experience strenuous and exhausting. I think I need to rekindle my passion by writing more simply and not to focus too much of my energy on making things perfect.
[2020-02-21] Going back through some PDFs I have downloaded at one time or another, I am having to upload and delete some things here which should all be in the OTHER FILES section for those who would like to read them. I am also going to start on some Kali tutorials in regards to basic Wifi Hacking and the like to start and slowly slip into more details about the tools released with the 2020 Kali Linux.
[2020-02-18] I have roughly about 100 ideas of things I need to write about, transcribe, or upload. I am going to make an attempted to run back though some of the articles and update them as needed in the near future but for now I am going to focus on new content. I will have to make a more valiant effort to make the Index.html more clear and easy to understand.