2021/06/11 JOURNAL


2021/06/11 Today I was faced with the absurd, and his name is Frank. At work their was an accident, no one was hurt, there was no real damage, and there was no one to direct blame to. BUT there was an accident that involved the safety of the property and interest of safety of the workers. So I, being a safety worker, had to file a report. Get all the legal boxes checked, get all the names and dates, times and places. Everything written, detailed, and timestamped. And then I had to interact with the reporter, the guy who takes my report and reports on the report (imagine that being a job eh?) You can imagine someone who may work that job being a man who is detailed, organized, perhaps rigid even. No. The man who worked that job was absurd. Frank is the reporter, the man I give my report to and details in. Frank, with my report in hand, begins with the usual, a sequence of parroting questions and answers in my report to ensure what I had taken down was accurate. Understandable. Reasonable even, nothing out of the ordinary. Then it happened, my descent into odd. He began to ask "Who did this happen to? And can you spell it?"... Well its spelled in my report, all names taken here. I don't know their names off hand nor the spelling, I have their IDs scanned though, you can see them here as a list.... "And these people are hurt?"... No in my report no one was hurt, just some damage, they are witnesses to the event. The event listed and statements are given with their names are here on this page... "And these people caused the damage?"... (At this point I genuinely thought perhaps I was wrong, maybe I filed a wrong report.) No, did I do my paperwork wrong? Maybe the wrong type of details were given? "No, no, what happened?"... (This was the third time of me explaining the issue, and I am beginning to worry Frank is having a stroke) Damage to the equipment, no one was at fault and the damage is cosmetic minor some off end part which we have hundreds of. "So who is at fault? Did these people hurt anyone?"... (My confusion now accelerates into denial) Are you messing with me? I don't understand? Do you understand and can explain to me what you are needing? "No no, um, I just need the information"... he information here? On the page? Do you not need MY report but a report FROM ME? "Oh uh no um what else do I need?"... Are you new? Do you need my help? "No I have been here 9 years. What else do I need though?"... Just my report, so you can file it... Are you feeling well? Are you tired? "No, your supervisor will hear about this on Monday." ( And then Frank left). I standing in awe at a man working as a reporter for 9 years, walking a way with such confidence as a man almost a decade into his career knowing all there is to know about reporting, I can assume, can walk away like. And I began to wonder why I never thought about being a reporter.

2021/06/09 My baby is kicking more so now that we are only 110 days left. It instilled something in me, something primal, inspiration and drive. I began to write again.

2021/06/08 I realized that after ignoring some fundamental skills in GNU/Linux I have forgot much I have learned previously. I am going to have to retrain myself again and get back into rhythm in the ecosystem. Got some nice emails recently which really lifted my spirits. Wife is going to get glucose levels checked since we are entering the 3rd trimester. Did a serious amount of house cleaning these past few days, boxing up old stuff and taking to be donated, it is really surprising how much someone can end up hoarding over a year. Since I have been cleaning out the old collectibles closet I wanted to reprice out some of my MTG cards and try to sell the bulk. I have been keeping an eye on crypto the past couple weeks to see how the prices have shifted, I think I am personally safer investing my money elsewhere for now.

2021/06/03 I have been extremely lethargic recently. I think it has something to do with missing some of the old hobbies I had when I was younger. I miss playing DnD with my old drinking buddies. I also feel like most of my writing ideas have not come from pen to paper. I think I may just go back though, try to clean this mess up again, do a reinstall of my OS. I find it easier when I have writer's block or similar issues, to go back through old work or do some tidying up. But that also could be a mental illness. Do I need a .css? I feel like it would be nicer all around if I didn't. May be something to think about.

2021/05/27 Shutdowns have been happening a lot more at work so I have had a lot of free time to catch up on projects. 4 day weekend coming up, I think I am going to spend most of it camping again. I do need to keep working on the fence line. It has been an ongoing project for a while now. Every time I get finished with one part I get too busy to finish up the rest. But the same can be said for a lot of my outdoor projects. I need to dig a ice house too. All the while doing a tear down of the house to clean up and remodel. Big year.

2021/05/20 Did a large run through all site content again. Did some updates and hyperlinks here and there. I added some bookmarks to the LINKS page to clean those out and provide some additional reading. Baby is due 2021-09-05 so I will be scarce, I will be sure to come back once a month to update and write about my adventures.

2021/04/07 Thinking about a few new sections and additions. Mostly more manuals for the PDF section and maybe some guides on improvised weapons.

2021/03/31 Gender reveal went off well, I am having a boy. So now the planning continues. House having additions and rebuilding a fence around the land. Having to rewrite some articles here to make readability easier. Also having to budget more so to ensure a good sum can be left to my child upon my death. So busy months are ahead. I am also adding to my stockpile of guns and ammo. Increasing storage space for dry food and baby needs in my current prepping supplies.

2021/02/28 End of the month if finally here and I feel a huge wave of relief, my partner went to the doctor a couple days ago and we should be getting the blood work back soon. The blood work will give us gender and over all health. 13 Weeks as of today. I feel like I should be doing more in regards to my writing and other hobby-work projects, but I cannot seem to find the interest in it. Maybe just too much going on at home for me to be interested.

2021/02/27 I am pulling all my crypto funds out today. The market to starting to look rocky and I have been holding them in there since 2018 so I think it is due time I put the money earned to good use. Taxes are coming in soon 03-03 and I need to start reinvesting in some projects I left behind during the pandemic. It is going to sound inappropriate, but I am going to miss the pandemic. It was a good opportunity to allow people to reset and prioritize.

2021/02/22 I have not been able to have much free time this past week due to the snow storm that hit the country the last week. Rain on Sunday made ice that night, which made it impossible for people to get to work. Which leaves me to do the work for them. Monday and Tuesday were met with 6 inches of snow then another. After making sure my family was okay with being snowed in for the week, I spent much of my time working or sleeping. I am going to feel better when the paycheck comes in with my hazard and overtime pay.

2021/01/16 I found out some time last week that my partner and I are having a baby. I also found out last week my grandmother died. So it has been one busy week. I am making attempts to relearn LISP in a more reasonable way, and re-reading "The Wizard Book" SICP. In the future I will be reading and uploading to share the "Crayola Books". I have mentioned earlier that uploading will be slow going, mostly due to lack of projects and lack of time. If any readers would like a certain topic covered, just shoot me an e-mail and I will be happy to research all I can about it. In other news, many social media platforms have been falling out of favor to the general public, majority have been leaning to the "right" in certain aspects, however this is not be a turn off to those of the "left". Social media and the social stream is a plague on the mind. It causes unneeded stress, added social pressures, and worst of all, a feeling of need or desire to vocalize your opinions onto the unsuspecting public. I would take the time now if you have not already, remove yourself from social media platforms. If you need to use them, find reasonable (ethical) federated alternatives, sign up for a (ethical) email or self-host. Downgrade to a flip-phone and enroll in a pre-paid like service. Limit your "Screen time", relax, drink some tea, maybe lift some weights? Take a deep breath. You know those old coffee containers you have been leaving next to the trash? Convert them into small decorative pots for some house plants. Remember they don't need a lot of sunshine, but some is nice, and you can use some too.

2021/01/11 Plenty of news recently. Updates are going to be slow rolling for some time. New lives coming in to this world, old lives being taken out.

2021/01/02 Every year I always try to pick a theme for the year and for the past 8 years that has been going very well. I may expand on this idea further in the future. But the idea goes something like this. A singular goal is hard to maintain and can cause unneeded stress. If your goal is to quit smoking, it is very singular and narrow. It is a good goal but if your entire year is headed to quit smoking, you can become discouraged or forget all together. However if your theme is "A Year of Health" it can be to quit smoking, exercise, mental health, and so on. A theme gives you other things to enjoy and gives you easier to obtain ideas. In the past several years I have gone through themes like "Wilderness" - where I take time to camp and to more off grid activities. "Health" - as mentioned. "Relationships" - where I worked in maintaining and grooming my social relationships with loved ones. "Writing" - this was the year I decided to make this website. And for this year "Cleansing" - my goal for this theme is to clean up my environment, clear my mental space, and work on organizing my living. 2020 has been a cluster of paperwork, jobs, and planning that I did not want to keep up with or drained my previously made preparations/savings so I figured I would need at least another year to rebuild that foundation.

2020/12/26 I have to say with all honesty that I loathe the holiday season. Not so much in a way where the typical seasonal depression and stresses of familial gatherings begin to wear down the thin emotional shells we build up through the year. With 2020 almost behind us we have already hit our emotional breaking points multitudes over, and this time of year is the final cruel cherry on top of this horrid monstrous cake. I have noticed not recently a topic I left largely untouched but today I finally remembered, this time of year social media usage goes up, with quarantines and lock downs, the post 2016 political spectrum also radicalized social media, suicide rates are hitting record highs. We are reaching the final hurrahs of another great Fall of Rome styled failure. I welcome 2021, I welcome and praise those who remove digital addiction from their lives. I praise people who plant that garden, start that new year with a renewed sense or purpose. And I plead for mankind to tear their eyes away from the news, away from the feed, and away of the asking "why?".

2020/12/23 Happy Holidays. Making attempts to add more content, I feel expanding the bin of reading materials would be nice so I am working on adding more to my personal collection of pdf. Eventually I will have to add more space though so I will most likely take up the offer of dropping bitcoin on the site. I may also add a bit more in terms of a personal touch.

2020/11/23 Adding large QOL improvements to the formatting of the html and editing to some articles and posts. Making some attempts to curate down the amount.

2020/09/29 It has been a while since I have updated last and have not been writing as much as I should have been, covid has made my work load double in the recent months. I feel like I am slowly withering away and my brain is being blended to mush. I will be revising my articles again soon to give it more up to date information soon.

2020/05/20 I am writing a book I will be uploading here for free. It is going to be a revised edition to many of the Red Team Attack textbooks and the like. I have been working on things similar to the work I have already published but I feel this will be a good opportunity to refine and adapt my previous writing to a more workable and easily distributed collection.

2020/05/04 I am now thinking about rewriting some of the older articles now do revitalize them. Some of the older ones like How To Disappear and the like. With my job now beginning to be more stressful than I desire its slowly starting to get under my skin. But all in all beggars cannot be choosers. Had an all-nighter followed by a 0500 meeting which sucked hard. Have been putting serious thought into working some other jobs while my current cools off with the Covid-19, in the down time I will be returning back to writing and maintaining the writings here.

2020/04/24 Going through several articles today for quality of life updates. I still need to refine them down a bit more and make the articles less repetitive. Took a break from work due to Covid-19 and the work being not in my preferred working areas, it is a bit cloudy today so I took a breather and relaxed outside for a few hours. During that time I was thinking about moving away from BSD as I have found while the learning about the system fun, I also found for many cases the process tedious and a bit time consuming so I may move back to Debian just for the sake of simplicity and ease. Though I would like to say exploring alternative operating systems is meant to be fun but a personal journey, don't get too sucked in to the politics. Sometimes what is best for you is not best for everyone.

2020/04/22 Tried and testing more Unix like systems. After having a bit of a debate about the spirit of Unix and Systemd, my stance on which I have written about, I have come to terms that in order to give most Unix like systems a completely fair and unbiased look. I have I decided to live in several in the upcoming months. I tested Slackware 14.2 Stable and had some issue and bugs such at networking issues and screen resolution issues that are actually common issues in the Slackware community. I wanted to give it a fair try and thought maybe the install was not great or I did something to break the install. So I went about re-installing and again the same issues occurred. Now this is not an attack on the Slackware system or the community, the issues I faced were all addressable and reasonable to fix, but they would have to be fixed on every install, which to me is not in my interest to do so. So I began researching the Unix philosophy more so and found the only reasonable way to give Unix a try is to not use a Unix-like system but a actual Unix system, so I went to Open-BSD. The install was easy, Open-BSD is stable, and no experience bugs in the last day or so. I will be living in Open-BSD for some time until I find it unusable or it no longer meets my personal computing needs. Also I would like to make a quick jab at the Linux Kernel, since Systemd gets a lot of flack for being bloated and having feature creep, how is it the Open-BSD kernel can have 2.9 million Lines of Code while the Linux Kernel 33 million Lines of Code. Systemd current at the time of this writing has 1273896 Lines of Code. I may have to come back to this issue at a later time.

2020/03/27 Got relocated for my last shift. So I am unsure how to maintain a good internet connection. I was thinking tonight about the original Cypherpunk movement and its later generational spin-offs from the 90s and 2000s. I began to miss the idea of the guerrilla sequencing. The people were so ready to distrust the government, the banks, every system of power were under suspect. An then, as fast as it came, we forgot. It was a fleeting idea like smoke in wind. Maybe after this whole crisis is over and we collect ourselves, we will address the systematic issue that face our dying system that is American Capitalism.

2020/03/24 After going over some finance I am beginning to believe that the future is bright for the generation to follow ours. After everything is said and done, when the crisis has hit its peak and begins to fade, the children after us will live in a time of wealth and sustainable goods. With pollution at an all time low and those who once profited from the blight and cancer that is globalization falling. We may see a time where green energy, local owned and sustained goods will become more prevalent. Social distancing is on the public minds and has become a buzzword in the culture, I am sure we will teach our children what was it and how it was to live this way. They are calling it "This generations 9/11" and I can certainly see the similarities. The fear and hardship, the unknown, the economic collapse and failure of The American Way. Though we will survive this certainly, I do not see this leaving the memory any time soon. People are making a panic, the politicians are making a panic, the world though always chaotic is becoming more unraveled and this is only a good thing. This is a good thing because in due time we will have the benefit and clarity of hindsight. We will say things like "This could have been stopped easily with XYZ" or "This is how we can make things safer with XYZ" our children will reap the gains of our losses. The market adjusts, the social stigmas get dropped, and people see the progress by the tracks we leave behind.

2020/03/19 I was reading the news about the virus and the movements it has had on the world. I have also found that there are a few who choose to believe this is some kind of engineered plague to control the populous. This in my opinion is silly. The evidence does not back this claim up and is upsetting to see the anecdotal evidence that is presented. My largest argument that I tend to bring up when a claim such as this is brought up, is "Why?" and in this case the "Why? Because of control" does not make sense. For example is the EU and USA we have been overly back and forth on what 'We' as a nation should do. If I was in a position to maintain control, to be in control, and had a way to do so. I would be vamping up fear, which in most outlets most of the fear is derived from social media and the public. Is Covid-19 serious, yes. But is it a plague, no. If a group or government or bad actor with the power and resources engineered this to maintain control, they are doing a poor job, I am still working, the military has not been called, there are not riots or distrust of the 'Other'. People are concerned as they should be and my largest fear is not what Big Brother or what not is doing, It is what they are not doing. They are not making quick, decisive, effective movements like those who would want lockdown would do. They are not overtly fear mongering the 'Other' making us distrust potential inferiors or defectors like a regime would. They have not taken away tools of resistance or revolt like guns. If they engineered a plague or used the infection to gain some control, they need to workshop this plan a bit more and take some hints from RTS Games and Simulators to maintain order. If I can drive home and see people jogging in the morning, and people out of work, the economy tanking, and people concerned not by there neighbors but by the government. This is not a good control method. To maintain power you have to engineer problems like Economic downturn and Government distrust outside the social norms (Which always happens in times of crisis) and be a divisive solution to those problems, which the world leaders have not done. This claim is doubtful if not down right absurd. I will be making a more detailed response in the upcoming days.

2020/03/17 Due to the recent pandemic and being where I am, I went off grid for a few days to prep my BUG-Out site. Spent about 3 days out and had time to myself. Due to the focus being more on resources and protection I have not spent much time writing. I did however get news that trucking shipments will be suspended which gives most places about 2 weeks of supply, whether it be Food or Gas, most places will be closed in about 2 weeks. They are also in the talks about closing roads only for emergency personnel and high demand occupations like doctors or nurses, military, etc. So I will be at home for some time and then moving off grid when the wind turns. I will be maintaining my journal for that time however. Where I live is very rural. I may not be able to be online without satellite, but for those in the States and are potentially facing civil unrest. Prepare now, have a place to stay, and have 2 weeks of food. Be safe.

2020/03/10 Added ProjectMelody.txt and my comments on the waifu wars of chaturbate. I found this topic both fun to research but infuriating to read the comments on. If you feel threatened by a VR Model perhaps you need to focus up on your personality since that's all Melody is, a rendered model on a personality.

2020/03/05 Added a PDF html section to free up some space on the primary index. I am going to make an attempt to keep the txt files on the index page to allow an easier reading experience without having to dive too deep into rabbit holes.

2020/03/03 Added some more pdfs to the roster, added a social engineering section. I should do more writing on the subject that may come up soon. Also got to see my site added to a lainchan sec thread which makes me get the warm and fuzzies. Good weekend.

2020/02/22 Feeling generally lethargic recently. I want to focus on my writing but am finding it difficult to keep up with. I currently have about 6 unfinished projects and 4 unfinished books I need to read. I want to be more social but find the whole experience strenuous and exhausting. I think I need to rekindle my passion by writing more simply and not to focus too much of my energy on making things perfect.

2020/02/21 Going back through some PDFs I have downloaded at one time or another, I am having to upload and delete some things here which should all be in the OTHER FILES section for those who would like to read them. I am also going to start on some Kali tutorials in regards to basic Wifi Hacking and the like to start and slowly slip into more details about the tools released with the 2020 Kali Linux.

2020/02/18 I have roughly about 100 ideas of things I need to write about, transcribe, or upload. I am going to make an attempted to run back though some of the articles and update them as needed in the near future but for now I am going to focus on new content. I will have to make a more valiant effort to make the Index.html more clear and easy to understand.