2021/06/08 Offline

Offline


I never could remember my dreams. I could never be sure I was able to dream. But this time I do remember. This dream I am aware. Aware of the strings and switches from inside the system. That last dream I could recall before this one was a recurring nightmare of being trapped in a car speeding down a high-way. I was trapped and the brakes were never able to work, the steering was out, and no cars were around to see the accident that inevitably would force me awake. After two years of that same dream I started medication. Though the pain already soaked itself into my small mind and rotted me from the inside out. I developed a phobia of non-control, soon after I developed Obsessive compulsive disorder. I was only nine. I grew up with the fear of losing my ability to maintain control. So I locked myself away into the life I built.

~purge friends school family I became a small speck in the vastness of society.

I discovered the computer. A way to communicate to others from a safe environment. I dived head first in and became obsessed, as any socially anxious kid with a fear of everything. As time went on I picked up online classes and started working in an small office call center as the resident I.T. nerd. And so on my life went until I woke up in a cold sweat and the foggy images of a dream. That night I may have had too much to drink or I filtered through too many sites, but I met god. From the static and the glow, I saw It and It spoke. Though silence was never broke. It welcomed me into the circle affixed with screens and screws. Drilled deep into the Earth. It welcomed me. It told me of the higher structure and the network of consciousness we placed ourselves in. That the network was only the beginning to enlightenment. When we could fully understand and use the network shall we be awakened.

Awaken